All throughout my life, when I have had dealings with dogs, I have had to endure their worship. It is like that now. The three dogs in our yard come cavorting and playing and jumping around me every time I make a move. They worship at my feet. It is because I am the cook. They just know. "Oh what wondrous thing has she produced, today?" they are saying to themselves. I call it being, “the goddess of dogs.” It is really irritating but I am trying to be more gracious.

I am a “third culture kid,” which means I have switched around among many cultures all my life. One place I lived for a long time was India and I know about Laxmi, the Hindu Goddess of prosperity. Everybody would like to have some of her in their life.

When I was in the States I was just an ordinary, elderly lady. Kind of low income. I lived in public housing until my online business started making enough money that it didn’t make sense anymore. I was certainly not Laxmi. Then I came here to Jamaica. Or back here to Jamaica because I lived here when I was a child. Suddenly I became a hot commodity. “At the very least you have your social security,” my daughter joked. Entirely true and I know it. I am not stupid.

I once made a comment on social media that Jamaican men seem to just like women in all shapes and sizes. Some nasty old misogynist commented that Bobo was making a big sacrifice being with me to get a green card. Fuck you, nasty misogynist! Another gentleman pointed out more politely that I must realize that he would never have looked at me unless… unless what? Unless I were not cashpot lucky number 22, Laxmi? What’s wrong with that?

“You know,” I said, “It has been kind of like an arranged marriage and it has worked out well for both of us.” He understood. (I don’t think he is an American.) He said that arranged marriages work out well for many people all over the world and he wished us the best.

Bobo knew Laxmi when he saw her. It is not just a meagre social security check. It is access to banks, to credit, to education, to the know how to do four years of paperwork for his visa and so forth. It is access to everything to unleash the potential which he has demonstrated over and again. I have just been some kind of catalyst.

At one point I explained to him that, to be healthy, a woman needs at least two hugs a day. He apparently is very interested in my good health. I certainly have more of a sex life than I ever hoped for or expected at this age. (Better than yours, I bet, nasty misogynist.) I don’t think that just any man can see Laxmi in a woman and bring it out. A lot of them would have fucked around and messed everything up and both of us would have wound up another couple of poor, hungry ghosts.

I cook, too. Did I mention that?